Mothers Day. Gardening with my mom. Being mom.

Times change, values change and with the age we gain more understanding. Or rather with experiences, we do so.

This year I gave my mom no gift, there was no declaration of love either. Of course she knows I love her, as I know my kids love me, we tell those words sometimes, but we do not schedule them exclusively for the Mothers day. Motherhood is so much more than one day a year.

However I gave her handmade bouquet and we spent time chatting over tea and cookies, but the highlight of the day was- gardening together. When we arrived I noticed that her usually lovely flower bed needs some tending, on impulse I suggested I pull some weeds, she was glad for my offer; side by side we worked together chatting and laughing, we had the best time ever! Me and my mum did not have it smooth over the years, but the bond is still there and always will be. It’s the moments like this- gardening and getting hands dirty together, which bring out the best in our relationship, no gift of gold or jewels or finest silk could achieve the same result.

Now, when I am the mother too, I know. I understand. I love. I forgive.

I was born, as a mother, on the day my first child was born. And I was born again, with my second child.

Motherhood is not easy. No matter how often we hear about putting own happiness first and loving oneself above all, it just does not work in motherhood. In motherhood you choose your kids happiness first, you love them more than yourself and you sacrifice without regret, second thoughts or even understanding that you do so. Moreover you do all that with joy and gratitude, because your kids are everything, because your kids are your life and happiness. Motherhood is raw and beautiful. 

Every day I wonder am I good enough. Every day I have doubts. Every day I learn. Every day my heart fills with love looking at those perfect little humans I grew inside my body. And I worry about their future in the fast paced world we live in, the world full of… everything.

We are raising future-  with love.

“Be mindful. Be grateful. Be positive. Be true. Be kind.”

Roy T. Bennett, The Light In The Heart

 

I guess my two thoughts today are these:

  1. Mother’s Day is not only one day a year (Every day is a Mother’s Day!).
  2. Motherhood is joy in simple things.

Sometimes simple things, such as tending garden together, having a cup of tea, discussing a book or answering 6 year old’s question about Noah’s Ark, are the best.

If you are feeling a little lost in the parenthood, you may find this book very helpful.

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Hugs.

Toni.

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