Why Bed-sharing?

Family

Hey, mamas and papas. Today I would like to chat with you about bed-sharing with our little ones. I will not share any scientific evidence or results of research, simply because, I do not believe, that everything our doctors and government are telling us to do, is right, some research will stress that, by sleeping with your baby- you endanger him/her, other on another hand- will suggest that it is very beneficial for baby to sleep near mum for many reasons- breathing and temperature regulation, also as feeling of comfort and security and of course- bonding.  I strongly trust my mothers instinct, and my decisions on baby care come from the place of love.

Funny, that even my doc once advised me to trust my “gut feeling”… I instantly felt like shouting out- YES! THIS FELLA KNOWS HIS JOB!

This is not the post that tells you what to do, or offers one- fits-all solutions. For whatever reason parents choose not to bed-share, I absolutely respect their decision. So here is my story.

When I was a baby, my parents did not bed-share with me, but I have seen my mum bed-share with my youngest two siblings. I did not have a plan for future sleeping arrangements, I was keeping an open mind to make decision when time comes.

When my first son was born, I, as millions mums all over the world, had little crib chosen, with softest of mattresses and beautiful lace decorated sheets, soft baby pillow and fluffy toys in it . The crib was located just step away from our double bed, I thought it was perfect. Little did I know what was to come…

The baby cried day and night, he would fall asleep in my arms during breastfeeding, just to wake the minute I put him in his crib and he would scream for his life. So I picked him up, nursed some more, burped him and as he fell asleep, put him back into crib, and, of course, he would wake up again 10 min later (if not instantly). We went through these motions, what felt like forever. I was desperate, exhausted, still in pain after traumatic birth.  The only way to get some sleep for me and for baby, was to take him to our bed and nurse until he fell asleep.  He would still wake up to nurse hundred times per night, but at least I did not need to get out of bed to feed him. As a first time mother, I was overwhelmed. What was I doing wrong? Why baby is crying? He must be in pain…

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Went to doctor. He said: “The baby is fine. There is absolutely nothing wrong with him.”

Now, I would have investigated further, but at the time, we simply went home and done our best in difficult situation.

Time went by, things got easier, but one thing never changed-  my baby always slept in bed with me. And you know what, when I had second baby (who slept like an angel!), they both bed-shared with me, and it was amazing! I love to listen them quietly breathe at night, even laugh in their sleep. It makes me relax, knowing, that, if my child needs drink or anything at all, I can attend to their needs immediately, because I am right beside them.  My oldest son used to wake up at night and ask me to hold his hand. Now he  is 6 years old, and has his own room, but at times, when monsters creep up on him during the night, or zombie knocks at his window (I do not know where these rascals are coming from these days…) he knows he can always come to my bed and snuggle with me, his little brother and the dad.

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My heart melts, watching my kids sleep.

I enjoy these precious moments, because kiddos just grow too fast!

So, here is my story. I love bed-sharing and I could not do it any other way. So tell me about your bed-sharing experience and challenges… (If you were actually kicked in the face while you slept or woke up with stinky diaper on your face- know, you are not alone)

Few points I would like to mention:

  • Please do not bed-share if you are heavy smoker.
  • Please do not bed-share if you are taking medications to help you sleep.
  • Please do not bed-share after using alcohol.

Thanks for reading.

Hugs and safe bed-sharing

Toni.

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